* Well that's when I wrote this, and we're looking at 2 or more days of snow again so I figured why not share these helpful hints!
Exhibit A. My car, far far away. The sadness. Poor lonely car, unable to serve her master, to fulfill her purpose in life.
Exhibit B. Scary, scary, non driveable driveway. In fact, we should change your name to... slideway. Or something. You are denying my car her very reason for existence.
Of course, I always think, WWLIWD? What would Laura Ingalls Wilder do? She would probably be appalled by my slothy ways. But I'm sure she'd be too polite to say anything. I bet she would also find my attire disturbing. Anyway! Let's get down to business here.
So! things to do when you're snowed in (using the term loosely here).
1. Make snow labyrinths! Work up a good sweat stomping meandering trails that intersect here and there, and stomp those suckers down good! Then later you can wonder why you didn't make one nice straight path to the driveway...
2. Get a (self) manicure! Since you bought the nail polish for one dollar it will chip if you even look at it funny! Which means you must touch it up constantly so hey! More time consumed waiting for snow melt! Oh and yes, I'm very white. It's winter. Tans are for summer. I can't help it.
3. Make snow tunnels and caves for your kitties, 'cause trust me, you aren't the only one with cabin fever.
4. Watch too much TV. And while you're at it, thank god for high speed internet to provide you with said entertainment. And netflix. Thank them too for the insta watch action. I think I watched season one AND two of The Tudors. And maybe some Flashforward.
5. Oh hey! Take a shower because the pipes haven't frozen today and no need to be stinky. Plus the warmer you feel the better to combat old man winter.
6. A good stock of high quality beer helps. Coors Light, baby. I bet King Henry the VIII would drink it. Then spit it out and order some one beheaded. He was into that. But I'm not some royal monarch so I can drink it.
7. Make random and strange lists! ...
8. Tear through the house, up and down and back and forth, shred wallpaper, knock over glasses, kill the s*** out of a roll of toilet paper and drive your mom crazy! Ummm that was Genevieve's idea for the list. You know, it's scientific fact that the cute factor saves lives.
And now, I must go follow these directives. Oh one more thing! Wear cozy pajamas!!!! No wonder Laura would look at me funny...
PS: Genevieve is GASP curled up next to me and not wreaking havoc... and she is snoring... the cuteness is unbearable. Good job mother nature. Throttle averted.
PPS: OMG I would never throttle a kitty!!!! But I bet all parents have fought the urge once or twice when their kids go crazy. This is where a good loud "AARGH!!" comes in handy. And then I laugh. I tell ya, a good arrgh really helps and laughter ALWAYS does. OMG I am going to melt in preciousnous overload over her snoring. Wish me strength.
2 days ago