Here Clarence expresses my feelings aout my 11 hour day.. cockeyed and maybe a little deranged. Well, yesterday i made mysef get up early, after 6 hours of sleep, to make really good and sure that I would be able to hit the hay early and get enough sleep for today.. it didn't work. I have learned this before and yet I keep trying -why? I am so not a morning person, AND while I have learned to function on 7 hours o f sleep 10 is really ideal. Sooo last night I go to bed at 10:20, it's the best I can do, and my alarm is set for 5am. AND of course, I just lay there, staring at the ceiling, thoughts whirring right along... until just after 1am. And this was not the type of insomnia where you may actually doze off for 5 minutes here and there only to wake up and check the clock's progression, no I was wide spankin awake. I got about three and a half hours but at least I got some rem in therre. There's something so wrong about working longer than you sleep in any given 24 hour period, even wronger (I don't care if that's a word... is it? Really spaced out zombified here) when you work twice as long as you slept, but man, I'm pushing work hours 3 times what I slept. Insomnia!
It's always worst the night that transitions my weekend to work week... In absolute dire emergencies I search the medicine cabinet for any leftover painkillers from various medical traumas (Remember that time I had jaw surgery? That was fun! Please tell me I didn't finish off the Percocet). Ok but before you go thinking I'm getting all Rush Limbaugh here, let me say that I probably get THAT bad of insomnia once every 6 weeks or so.. I mean insomnia I get probably once or twice a week but the pill seeking desperation kind maybe 8 or 9 times a year. So Mom (what a hero) sent me some of her valium a few months ago, and I think I had used 2 out of 10, and last night by 12:30 I was thinking it was getting to be emergency status so I went to look for that envelope she sent me and O M G. OMG, I threw it away in some mad cleaning frenzy!! /Cry...
But you know what? I was just 1 day, and here I am, see, I made it. My job is so fricken monotonous, which usually sucks boredom factor wise, today however, it was to my advantage, I just stuck the cruise control on and spaced out. Hooray for auto pilot. Luckily (or tiringly) about 70% of my work day I'm on my feet- if i had a desk job it would have been much harder to stay awake. Oh, and one of my co-workers, what a hero, brewed the blackest pot of coffee, hallelujah.
Sadly, I left about 3 hours of work behind, so tomorrow is round two (sob). This is why I'd rather not have the "holiday"... I just work 46 hours give or, well, doubt take, the week after. Still, I'm incredibly thankful that I get to come home to yummy food, and cozy shelter and I am now going to zone out on a movie and revel in the luxury of falling asleep on the couch. Ah, life's little pleasures.
May 3rd, 2018
2 days ago