Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Weird Things in the Forest


I went hiking with my buddy Nikita the other day (sometimes I think she's walking me, not vice versa) and we found an ogre's home. Complete with talking donkey. I swear. The donkey sounded kind of like Eddie Murphy..

Then we found the remnants of a castle from the dark ages. Wait, I've ruined my credibility already, haven't I. Okay, so I don't know what it was, but naturally I investigated. It was a perfectly square unit with no portals where you might expect them... no door, no windows. It looked like it was carved from the surrounding rock, but I doubt it actually was. Maybe weather is what gave the building and surrounding rocks a similar patina. "Pock Marked Frost Damage with A Touch of Lichen", I believe they call it at the hardware store. If you have any crusty old castles that need authenticating- don't we all?

When I circled around back I saw that there was an opening after all. I caught a faint whiff of something rank for a moment as the wind stirred. Then it was gone, and I dismissed it as a naturally occurring ogre odor. (The strange building was very close to Shrek's- er, the forest person's hovel.)

The opening on top looked like it could be removed, but for some reason I got a bad vibe from it. You'd think a peace sign would have the opposite effect, eh? But we all know how overactive my imagination is, so I guess it's no surprise I creeped myself out. Still, I did attempt to use my camera's flash to get an image of the innards of the thing. It didn't work, though, so my curiosity started to beat down my illogical trepidation. I pulled at the lid. It was heavy, and the rusty metal screeched after barely shifting a millimeter. Again I caught a faint but definitely unpleasant smell.

I started thinking. What if there was something... in there. I mean, why was there a sealed tomb- like building in the middle of state forest, far from roads or buildings or electricity or any of the things you find near human structures? What if there was the corpse of a murder victim? What if there was a vampire just waiting for a chance at freedom and revenge? What if there was an animated corpse, a brain eating zombie, or several, jaws dripping, legs crouched in anticipatory tension, ready to spring for my throat the second the door opened wide enough???

So yeah, I didn't open it, much to the relief of my cold sweat and fluttery stomach. Yeah, yeah, I'm ridiculous, but at least I stay entertained. Or... am I ridiculous? When I loaded my photos from the hike I worked on cropping here, leveling horizons there, adding a touch of extra green or blue... and enhancing the picture where I tried to use my camera's flash as a makeshift flashlight.

Staring up at me from the darkness... an eye.

Okay, blogger was being a poohead and wouldn't take the enhanced photo so this is the straight out of camera shot. And when I say enhanced I don't mean I manipulated an eye onto the picture. I hit the button for "enhance dark tones" and suddenly found myself looking into an eye. I twitched in startlement, and then the heater kicked on and I jumped right out of my seat. I actually had to close the page on my computer because my heart was beating so hard. Nevermind that it was night and I was alone, kay? I still can't look at the photo without mad heebie jeebies. It's like it's looking back. And get away from me with the straight jacket, ya here?

2 comments:

Her Grace said...

It's totally the hatch from Lost! Look out for polar bears!

jill said...

That is so very creepy. Are you going to go back and open up the vault? Did you open the door on the ogre's home? You're much braver than me.....I wouldn't have even tried to open that scary peace symbol - I also would have been sure of the crouching zombies :)