Friday, August 10, 2007

Sad Fish

This angelfish is not dead. Or dying. He's depressed. I don't blame him. See, there were three angelfish. A third wheel is never good, and when eggs come into play, three gets ugly quick. The other two repeatedly drove poor Spence Jr away, even though he wasn't after the girl, just company. It got pretty serious, and we put a divider in the 100 gallon tank, to give the lovers some space. They were too busy attacking any fish who came near to relax and nurture their spawn, see. But how could Spence Jr understand this? His brain makes a pea look like a softball. He became despondent. Enter the Guarami.

G has a major chip on his shoulder, because he's very vain. And he's beautiful, but all he knows is he's missing an eye, and he feels like a monster. He doesn't grasp the inner beauty concept, what with the grain of sand size brain and all. So he punks any fish that don't get out of his way fast enough. Poor Jr. He didn't even try to defend himself , he was so lonely and lost. G ate all Spence Jr's fins, until he couldn't even swim. I know, seriously, rated R fish tank here. He was just floating on the current, waiting to die, when we pulled him and put him in Dagger's little 10 gallon tank, along with a bunch of medicine. It was touch and go for a few days there, but when he started growing his fins back we knew he hadn't given up after all. And yet... a month later, and he COULD swim, but he doesn't. I guess fish can mend their fins but not their heart. I couldn't even bring myself to tell him the other two angels turned out to be lesbians. True story.

This is Maximus, our 25 cent feeder that is now pushing 10 inches, the fatty. He's the king of duuuuh. It's a good thing he's too big to mess with, 'cause if G bit him he probably wouldn't get it. At least he'll never get a broken heart.
PS Speaking of PS, saw a letter to santa today (yeah, it's still summer) and it said "PS: The light saber needs to be able to cut through things." MADE MY DAY. Maybe I should go tell Spence Jr that story, see if I can coax a smile outta him. I'm thinking, though, he might prefer some nice brine shrimp.


Lindystar the HOR blogger said...

Honest to goodness you made a post about you FISH TANK that left me wanting for more. Granted I'm pretty simple but you've really got a knack (and a lot of fish tank drama) for blogging. That DUH feeder fish comment is SO funny and fitting!

Honest to God the one Angel really isn't dead? Cuz I'm kinda gullible I'll believe you. How does he eat?

Her Grace said...

I can't count on two hands the number of ways I love this post. Hope Spence pulls out of it. Do they make fishy anti-depressants?